I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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