well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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