The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize