the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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