Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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