You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
