Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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