I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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