Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
