Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
