i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
