So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
