Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
