I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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