Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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