I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
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My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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