how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize