worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
