Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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