maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
