school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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