And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
