One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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