brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
