Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
