I am midnight drunk by noon
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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