My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she told me i tasted like america
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
