I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.