hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.