Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
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Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
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The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake