Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.