Pappa wants mamma naked
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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