Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
