I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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