Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Semen is not good for contacts.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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