oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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