Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
