i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
