Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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