The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
