i think my mom watched the whole time
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
