More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
