if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
