Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone

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(847): View more from Illinois

you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began

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23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+61): View more from Australia

A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.

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(352): View more from Florida

Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested

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(979): View more from Texas

It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.

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(707): View more from California

You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude

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