he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
