Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.

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  (908): Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time. http://tfl.nu/kf31
  Replies (11) Good night (994) Bad night (4461)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?

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  (480): Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back? http://tfl.nu/wmx0
  Replies (66) Good night (2041) Bad night (3533)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?

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  (917): Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage? http://tfl.nu/cpvo
  Replies (12) Good night (5574) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.

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  (919): Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment. http://tfl.nu/yr4f
  Replies (10) Good night (3328) Bad night (1932)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.

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  (270): We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/l81q
  Replies (7) Good night (3870) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.

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  (613): She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone. http://tfl.nu/b8gy
  Replies (9) Good night (2642) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.

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  (778): She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever. http://tfl.nu/jz26
  Replies (5) Good night (503) Bad night (1001)
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  (650): View more from California

  Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah

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  (650): Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah http://tfl.nu/cx0s
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (473)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.

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  (310): I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there. http://tfl.nu/77nt
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Another sexterpiece awaits

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  (919): Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits (1-919): Another sexterpiece awaits http://tfl.nu/xw4q
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (622)
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  (805): View more from California

  All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...

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  (805): All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend... http://tfl.nu/o1px
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.

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  (413): I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance. http://tfl.nu/vfeh
  Replies (3) Good night (425) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.

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  (336): We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette. http://tfl.nu/ba64
  Replies (7) Good night (445) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!

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  (612): New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call! http://tfl.nu/xlnf
  Replies (3) Good night (683) Bad night (172)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his

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  (205): I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his http://tfl.nu/6ous
  Replies (2) Good night (210) Bad night (582)

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