You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
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Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
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We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.