Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.