why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think a kid would responsible me up
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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