butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
