Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
