just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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