with your own penis?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Randomize
