i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
