Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
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Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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