Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
