I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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