When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize