Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
