I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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