And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
