So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
