great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
