I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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