Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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