If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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