so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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