His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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