I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
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I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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