And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
