I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
