We won't sleep together?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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