stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
