census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
